LIFE OF A PRODIGY NEAR SIDE
by Shius
Summary: Have you ever wondered about Nears past? How his hair got white? How he was found? This story is about life through Nears eyes. Some NearxLinda. Rated T for violence. [DISCONTINUED: RE-WRITE AVAILABLE]
1. Prologue

I was never the type to ask questions.

Especially to questions I know the answer to.

But now, since the KIRA case is over, I keep asking myself the same thing over and over again, non-stop.

_Why am I here?_

_What is my purpose?_

I can't stand it. I look into the mirror, and all I see is a small sad looking white haired child looking back. I touch the mirror. Who are you? He doesn't answer. All he does is look back at me, with empty black eyes.

I know.

The boy in the mirror is me.

I tug my hair lightly, and I remember that this curly white hair was once black.

I smile slightly, I remember my mother, my aunt, and my mentor, L.

I remember my life, full of questions, hate, and mostly, pain.

And I ask myself,

"_What do I do now?"_


	2. Chapter 1 : Mother

**Author Note: **This is my first fanfic and also my first story typed on computer so please be strict while reviewing.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own death note or any of the contents in it. All I own is this story.

I was born to a poor woman, without a father. The woman I knew as my mother, despised me from the moment I was born. She always told me that I looked exactly like "Him", that I was cursed for life, that she wished I was never born.

Now that I remember her, it makes me sick to my stomach.

She barely ever fed me, and she always beat me up. The only reason why I was actually alive was that an old woman took pity on me and fed me. I don't remember her face or name, but I was bad with names from the beginning.

At this time I still was able to forgive her, I still loved her as my mother. But she never loved me. And I did not understand why. But things changed, and one day the old woman disappeared.

* * *

I remember hiding from her that night. As most nights, she was drunk.

She was shouting my name around the house.

"Nate, Nate!!"

On most nights I usually ignored her and sat quietly in the closet. But this night was different.

"I have a present for you!"

I was stupid enough to believe her words.

"There you are you little brat!"

She pulled me put of my hiding place, and started to hit me.

My cheeks burned. I whimpered slightly, and tried not to cry out.

She kicked me in the ribs, and stepped on me.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

I knew that even if I asked for her forgiveness, she would keep hurting me.

She kicked me harder, on the stomach.

I stay curled up on the floor silently. I held my tears back and waited for the old woman to come and stop my mother.

I waited. But she never came.

My whole body ached and I was barely conscious.

"However long you wait for her she won't come to save you. The old hag is finally dead!"

I stayed silent. It was starting to get painful to breath.

My mother snickered.

"What will you do now? Your 'Guardian angel' is gone!"

She started laughing.

"And she's never coming back to save you! Never! Just like he did to me!"

My mind would not listen to me. I didn't really care about her anymore.

I can't remember what happened afterwards.

All I remember from that point was me wishing for my mother to disappear. For her, to _die_.

And one day, suddenly, she did.


	3. Chapter 2 : Aunt

Some weeks after the elderly woman passed away, my mother died of alcohol overdose.

Suddenly, a huge obstacle in front of me had disappeared . A woman I wished who would be gone from my life, disappeared.

I didn't feel anything for her by then. It was at this time, (As I realize now) when my emotions started to disappear.

All I understood at the time was that me and my mother would be going separate ways, never to meet again.

Some days after my mother's funeral, I was brought to a place where I had never gone before. I had been passed over from my mother to my only aunt, who I had never heard of before.

Her name was Emily Mathers. She was married with a proper family of her own. She had a son slightly older than me, and a kind young husband. She was a very warm person, and I would think that any child would gladly accept her as their stepmother.

There was only one problem.

She looked exactly like the person I thought I had finally escaped from.

Her light auburn hair and green eyes, all the things she did and said had a resemblance with my mother.

Not understanding that she was a different person, I panicked. I hid in my room for long periods of time, in fear of being hit by my new mother. Only after some weeks later, did I start roaming around the house without fear of my new mother.

In that house there was only one room that interested me, the study room.

It wasn't a big room, more like a storage room, where they kept many books in.

At first, I didn't know what they were. I had never seen books before.

Not knowing what to do with it, I picked up a book next to me. It had a picture of a strange looking house on the cover. I opened it, but couldn't understand it. I was seven years old, but I never had to go to school, so I didn't know how to read. Deep in thought, I had not noticed the door behind me opening.

"Hello Nate, what are you doing here?'

I turned back, it was my stepmother.

"H-hello, Mrs. Emily."

I trembled, I was still afraid of her.

"What are you holding?"

I flinched.

She took the book away from me.

"Hansel and Gretel? I used to like this to."

…What? She won't do anything to me?

"Don't worry, I won't do anything to you."

I flinched again. She had read my mind.

"Can you read?"

I shook my head.

"…You don't go to school?"

I nodded.

"That cursed sister of mine, she won't even give her child a chance to have proper education. Don't worry Nate, I will enroll you to school next week. You'll have to work with children younger than you, but you won't mind would you?"

I shook my head rapidly.

I couldn't believe it.

I had always seen children with uniforms walking to school with bags on their backs, and their mothers beside them. I was always jealous of those children. I always wished I could be one of them, free from my doubts and pain.

She smiled.

"Good boy."

She pat me lightly on the head.

"Now go to your room and sleep. Its not a time for children to be awake."

"Y-yes"

Than I did something I would never have done to anyone else.

I hugged her.

"Thank you…Mother."

I ran off to my room, Leaving my mother alone with surprise on her face.

I felt very warm. Like my new mother.

An emotion I had never felt before.

I was happy.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I am sorry that the way I wrote in this chapter is so different from the last chapter. I plan to change chapter 2, and upload the next chapter two days later.

Reviews are welcome :)


	4. Chapter 3 : Happy Days

Two weeks later, I was enrolled to a public school nearby.

For a small child I was very fast at adapting to my school work. I learnt to read and write faster than any of the children in my grade. At first my teachers did not realize that I was different from other children. But after two months I had learnt enough to skip grades and go to third grade.

My aunt was amazed that I was able to learn so fast. She always said that she was very proud of me. I was happy with her just thinking of me as her son. I figured that she would think of me more if I kept on getting better.

So I just kept learning.

Within a year I was able to reach until grade four.

After six moths my aunt started to worry about my health. She said that too much stress was not good for a child as young as me. I always said to her that I wasn't stressed, that she shouldn't worry.

That was a lie.

I never had problems with school work. I somehow seemed to do anything perfectly.

It was human nature that made my life hard.

I was never able to fit in with the other children. They always thought me as something different from themselves. Most children treated me differently, as if I was special. Some children bullied me, for being different. And their where some people, who ignored my existence completely.

They never understood me.

And I never understood them.

I had stress not because I was bullied, not because I didn't like the fact of being looked on as special, and not because I didn't like being ignored, but because I had a huge equation in front of me that I couldn't solve any way I tried.

In the whole world there was only one person I trusted, my aunt.

If I had not met her, I would have been living a very different life by now.

I would probably be put into an orphanage, a human body without a soul or mind. I would be dead inside, just as my mother was.

I wished that she would never leave my side, but alas, fate is a cruel thing.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I was not planning to upload it today, but I was given some free time so I am just uploading this chapter now.

I might also upload the next chapter today, but if I don't, it would probably be uploaded by Monday.

Thank you for the support! :)


	5. Chapter 4 : A Death

I still remember that horrible night.

It was on a stormy night. Lightning flashed brightly and thunder erased all noise within the car. It was my ninth birthday, and me and the rest of the family were going back home after buying me a present. It was a stuffed doll shaped as a rabbit. My aunt said to think of the rabbit as her when she was gone, so that I wouldn't be lonely.

I was as happy as any child could be on their birthday.

Maybe even happier.

It was my first time to have a toy. I always had a fascination with the immobile things. It was fascinating that even when tattered and torn, they would not do anything to stop the attacker. I knew and understood that it was common sense, that they would never move, what ever you do with them. I just couldn't help but wondering about them.

They were exactly like me.

Hopeless.

I was never able to fight back against my mother. I always stayed silent, curled up, protecting myself. I never moved, I never said anything. I never had the courage to fight back.

I was the same as a toy. A thing that you take your stress out on.

But I wonder, if I fought back at that time, would things have changed for me now?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

In the end it was my choice.

A bolt of thunder flashed out side the car window. Following it was a large noise. It was as if the sky cracked open with that bolt of thunder. The storm which was bad had been getting worse than before.

The rained poured down as if it was planning to drown the whole world and the people within it.

"Wow, this storm is getting really bad, we should hurry home."

My aunt murmured as she stepped on the pedals.

We went faster. It was dangerous in a storm, but my aunt thought it was okay, for not many people drove cars in the middle of a storm.

The storm had started to get so loud, it erased most noises out side and inside the car.

Nobody spoke. All we could hear was the sound of the large storm.

Then I heard a large and urgent honk from another car.

I turned my eyes from the window to the front window. I saw a light.

And than I heard a crash.

* * *

I awoke on a bed, a hospital bed, with my cousin lying beside me.

The car had crashed into a truck.

Me and my cousin survived because we were the ones in the back seat. Both of us only had light bruises and scars, while our guardians got their brains smashed.

I was in a state of shock. I couldn't believe they were gone.

My cousin was crying, screaming at the doctors.

The world went blurry. I don't remember, I don't want remember, what came after that.


	6. Chapter 5 : Family

When I started noticing my surroundings, I was put in a catholic orphanage with my cousin. We were both battered by the fact that our guardians were dead. We never spoke to anyone, and it was from then that I started dying my hair white. We thought we would never get used to the fact that they were dead.

But after a month, my cousin acted like he didn't care about them anymore.

I was still in shock.

I kept to myself and my toys, never opening up to people. I never had friends. But I still worked hard on my school work.

Nothing stopped me. Nobody.

Not even my cousin.

* * *

For some reason, he always acted angrily toward me.

He hated me. And I knew that.

"Nate!"

I was reading a book in the library.

"What?"

He punched me. I wobbled backwards, I was taken by surprise.

"Why do you keep doing that?!"

"…What? What have I done to you?"

I didn't like the fact that he punched me while reading.

I rubbed my bruise.

"Why do you keep trying to act smart?!"

"…"

I sighed. I did not understand his question.

"…I am not trying to act smart, and I do not understand why you have to start a fight just because of that."

His face flushed. I could tell that he was angry, and that I had made my situation worse.

"Stop trying to impress them!"

"Who are you talking about?"

I was starting to get irritated. He was wasting my time.

"Mother! Stop trying to impress her! You know that she's gone! You don't need to be smart any more! Can't you see?! She won't come back to you how ever hard you work!"

"… I won't…"

I whispered.

"What?"

"I won't stop."

"…!"

My cousin had lost his calm completely. I looked straight at to him and expected him to hit me.

"… Fine. So be it."

He faced away from me.

I was frankly surprised that he wasn't going to hit me.

"…I hope you regret your actions afterwards."

What?

He gave me one last hateful glance, and left. Leaving me alone with my self in the silent library.

I never hated him. I had always thought him as a kind brother to me.

That night I shed some tears.

I had lost an important thing today.

I had truly lost my family.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I was able to change chapter 2 today.

I am sorry for being late while uploading this. I had a lot of things to do. I hope you understand.

Reviews are very welcome :)


	7. Chapter 6 : Wammy House

I lived my life silently from that day.

I became even more obsessed school work than ever before.

Maybe I wanted to prove him wrong, to prove to him that they were still going to come back to us.

In the end it didn't matter.

Because it was how I had been discovered.

* * *

He came to me one day, a man named Roger.

He said that he wanted me to go with him to a new institute that would fit my high IQ level.

I agreed with him to go to the new place.

It didn't really matter to me where ever I go. It was just a simple environmental change to me.

He seemed pleased with my answer.

He told me that he still had a test for me to do.

I took it without question.

It was mathematical test, with equations to difficult for a child to understand. I had read a book on these types of equations, and remembered how to solve it.

Others I did not understand where improvised.

Roger gave the test back to me with a smile on his face and perfect marks.

He said that I had done it perfectly.

As usual, I did not pay much attention to his praise.

I was put in a black vehicle and brought to the institute.

Beside me where some other children, most whom were calm and well behaved. But there where others like me with strange clothing and attitude. There was one child, playing a video game in the vehicle, face down with goggles on. As I found out later, his chosen name was Matt.

We had reached the institute named "Wammy's house".

It was a big building which looked more like a church than any thing else.

There were many different children there. Many had peculiar clothes on. Some who where very colorful, others who were like me and wore simple clothes of the same color.

We were led to Roger's office inside the building.

The inside of the Wammys house was beautiful.

On the walls were stain glass, filled with many bright colors.

All the doors were big, and the hallway was full of lively children talking about things I did not know about.

We reached his office, and he explained to us our purpose here. About grades, why we were chosen, and most importantly, L.

He explained to us about L, that we were here all his apprentices, and that we didn't necessarily needed to stay here our whole lives.

We each had to chose a name, in case we were ever endangered because of our real names.

The name I had chosen was Near.

It was more like a word then a name, but that didn't matter. It had a meaning to me.

Being always separated from those I loved, I had always wished that they never left me. That they would stay near me. Never going away, never leaving me alone with the shadow of my own past.

Once our names were chosen each of us were sent to our rooms.

It was my first time to be alone in a long time, and I enjoyed the silence for as long as it lasted.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I am sorry I couldn't upload this faster. My computer broke down and I had a slight writers block. :(

Any way, I was able to upload this today, and I will upload the next chapter tomorrow. :)

Reviews are welcome~


	8. Chapter 7 : Boys

Someone knocked on the door of my room.

Thinking it was a teacher, I rose from my bed and opened the door.

It wasn't.

It was the blonde haired bossy looking boy I had seen a while ago. Behind him was the boy with the goggles, Matt.

They wanted me to join him in their soccer match.

I was not interested.

I wanted to enjoy the silence of my own room, and I was slightly pissed about them barging into my privacy.

"… You really don't wanna join? Huh, what a loser. Let's go Matt."

Those words made me even more pissed off.

"Okay, fine. I'll join."

I was starting to get very irritated.

"Um, you sure you don't need to put on some shoes?"

"Yeah… that's gonna hurt afterwards man."

"I'm fine. I don't need them."

The two looked at each other.

They were obviously surprised by my sudden change of heart.

I didn't care anymore.

All I wanted to do was finish it as fast as possible.

When I remember now, my personality was the start of the rivalry.

* * *

**Authors Note**: Sorry for the short story.

I didn't have the time to make it longer :(

I'll write a longer one tomorrow :)


	9. Chapter 8 : Friend

----After the game.

My team had won.

It was something I didn't do usually, and I had fun.

"Wow, your better than I expected."

It was the blonde boy.

I hadn't heard his name yet.

"… Not really. It's my first time to do these types of games."

"Really? Than you must have talent! Not as much as me of course."

He smiled.

It was a proud smile, a smile that fitted him in a strange way.

Now that I was able to see him closely, he seemed more like a king than a young orphan.

Especially the way that he acted around other children.

Everybody followed him around. They listened to his orders without question, they paid respect to him.

Never in my life had I seen a person so seemingly royal as him.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot."

He put his hand in front of me.

"My name's Mello. Don't forget that!"

Was he trying to shake hands with me?

Hesitatingly, I took his hand and shook.

"My name is Near."

"Near? Strange name.

Anyway, welcome to the house! I can show you around if you want me to, but do you want me to?

I smiled politely.

"Certainly."

Me, Matt and Mello went around the house.

It was much bigger than I had thought it was.

There was a library, some classrooms, and many other rooms for other purposes.

Me and Mello had found that our ideas matched on many subjects, and that was a first for me.

It was apparently same with Mello, and from that day on, I had become his "Favourite".

After some months of being with him, I started to understand why the children paid respect to Mello.

He was brilliant.

He was always nearly perfect. In everything he did.

By the first few months, I had nearly stopped trying to become L.

There was something about Mello that made you want to stop and give up.

But there was something inside me that still wanted to go on and not give up.

That part of me had led my first friendship to a bad ending.

It all started half a year later I had met Mello.

Christmas. The season of love and forgiveness.

None of those feelings existed for me.

* * *

It was also the season of the big tests and projects in the Wammy's House.

Me and Mello had worked on different projects that time, and we had competed with each other, to see who was better.

I knew that Mello would win as always, and that he anticipated that as well.

I worked the same way as always, but instead of putting ideas that anyone would put, I tried something different and put all the ideas that nobody would choose to put.

I tried being creative, putting many different stuff together.

That way of thinking fit me more than I thought it would.

All these months I had been following Mello's way of thinking, but I wanted to try something new.

Never had I expected that such a small change in ideas could change a relationship so drastically.

* * *

**Authors Note: **I'm sorry I uploaded this chapter so slow.

The computer finally broke down, and I had to bring it to the repair shop.

I'll upload the next chapter tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 9 : Wish

Christmas.

It was the day our projects would come back.

Mello was boasting already.

Never in his dreams would he expect to lose.

But he did.

I got perfect scores, Mello, had only one mistake.

His usual mistake, he had overlooked one small detail.

At first he didn't say anything.

He was too shocked to say anything.

"…Are you okay? You don't look too good."

"Huh? What are you saying? Of course I'm fine."

I could tell that he really wasn't.

He was pale, much paler than usual.

"It was a good fight. We both worked our hardest."

He smiled. A normal childish smile.

But to me it looked slightly different than his _real_ smiles.

To me it looked as if he couldn't accept the fact that he had lost.

As if he was too proud.

I smiled.

"Yes we did."

I acted as if I didn't care.

"Um, I have to prepare something. I'll be in my room."

Mello went to his room. Matt followed him.

I didn't dare move from my place.

I had that sick feeling again.

As if I felt sorry for him.

He was my first friend, and knowing him I knew that he would never forgive me for doing this to him.

But I also had this other feeling.

That I had finally gotten what I wanted the most.

A chance to become L.

* * *

After some months, the air between us had changed drastically.

The only reason why we were together was because Matt and a girl called Linda kept (or tried to) keep us together.

But I had changed. I worked hard on my schoolwork, ignoring Matts pleas to at least give Mello a chance.

One day even the patient Matt got sick of me.

He said that he couldn't believe that I actually was friends with Mello, that I didn't deserve to be his rival.

I kept silent.

I didn't care for a beating, or any type of verbal abuse.

Nothing would stop me from getting what I wanted.

Than one day he stopped trying.

And me and Mello stopped trying to communicate with each other.

We were both blind to everything but our own dreams.

Matt despised me, and the only person left to support me was Linda.

She was kind, but I couldn't see her kindness.

I was alone again.

Just as I always was, and I knew I would never change.

My name, my wish, had no meaning.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I'm to busy to upload my story it seems.

I'll probably upload the next chapter on either Monday or Tuesday.

Sorry for the slow uploads :(

Thanks for the support!


	11. Chapter 10 : 2005

Year 2004.

Everywhere around the world, news of the fight between Kira and L where spreading. It was not long until all the kids in the Wammy house knew about it.

All of us buzzed about it, talking about which side they were on, talking about L, how amazing and brave he must be to fight against such a horrible mass-murder.

Many children were on L's side. Well at least Mello was.

He had a strong disliking towards Kira. Whenever he talked about Kira (which he did not usually do), all he really did was express his disgust towards him. He hated him, probably as much as he hated me.

I had never thought hard on that subject. I did not hate nor like Kira. He was something out of reach for me, something that didn't stand out in my life.

I thought that L would solve the case as he always did, leaving a story for the children in the Wammy house to talk about.

I never had expected such a shock.

* * *

Year 2005.

"What is it Roger?"

We were called to Roger's office that day for some unknown reason.

I was sitting down on the mat, playing with my puzzle. Mello was standing calmly in front of Roger.

Being called to his room was a normal thing, for he always complimented on our work.

But today seemed different. Roger hid his face in his hands, keeping the eerie silence in the room.

"What is it?" Asked Mello again.

Mello was tense, he probably felt the same heavy air that I did.

I kept playing with my puzzle, readying myself for anything to come.

After some awkward, long minutes, Roger raised his head and said,

"…L is dead."

The air froze.

Mello gaped at Roger, and I had stopped fiddling with my nearly complete puzzle.

"DEAD? Bu-but how?"

With Mello's sudden voice, my brain finally started moving.

I put the last piece into the puzzle.

So L had lost…

My brain started spinning faster.

"Do, do you mean to say that he was killed by Kira? Is that it? Tell me Roger!"

Against Kira?

"…Yes, most likely."

"He said that he would bring Kira to the electric chair, and now… He's dead? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?"

Mello grabbed Roger by the collar.

"…Mello…"

…Why couldn't he see?

Having understood that L had lost, I was amazingly calm. I knew what I had to do.

I turned over my puzzle, letting all my pieces fall.

That caught Mello's attention.

Letting go of Roger's collar, he turned back to look at me.

"…If you can't play the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, than your just a loser."

His eyes widened at my statement.

I didn't care how I sounded, I didn't care if I hurt his feelings, I had to make him see the truth.

L had lost.

"…"

Mello turned his back on me and faced Roger.

"So, who did L choose, Near or me?"

Another awkward silence. I saw what was coming next.

"I'm afraid he wasn't able to choose… And now he's dead."

"…"

I couldn't see Mello's face, but I was able to guess.

"Mello, Near, how about you two work together?"

"Yes, agreed."

I replied immediately, not giving Mello time to think. I knew his answer anyway.

"…It's impossible. It's impossible Roger! You know that Near and I don't get along… We've always been rivals."

…

"Listen Roger, Near will be the one to succeed L. Unlike me, he'll do the job calmly, without emotion, like when he solves a puzzle."

………

"I'm leaving this institution! Do whatever you want, I'll be 15 soon anyway."

"Mello!"

………………

"I'll live out my own way."

_SLAM._

Mello had slammed the door, making the over-worried Roger run after him.

I was left all alone.

Just me and my puzzle.

* * *

**Authors Note :** I'll try to write this and my other crossover fanfic, "Death Note Wonderland" at the same time, so please expect slow uploads X(

I'm really sorry!


	12. Chapter 11 : Departure

From that day on, I was to collect all the information I could, to submit to people on L's side (FBI, CIA, etc) as his successor.

With Rogers help I was able to collect at least half of the information I would need to catch Kira within five years.

The information was submitted to the president of the United States, who then made a special force to catch Kira, the "SPK".

I was to move to America, to start my search for Kira as fast as possible. It was finally _my_ turn to go out of the Wammy house.

Matt had already had left the institute long ago, Linda following soon after him.

Where they had gone to, I did not know.

I never really thought much about it, but many things happened within the Wammy house.

As L did, I was to erase my past in the Wammy house, throwing away my pictures and other things that may lead to my true name or face.

I threw away all of my things, including all my toys and things I used for school work. In my belongings I found a scrapbook, written on it was some very important facts, including Mello's real name and photograph.

I had forgotten, before we were rivals, there was a time we called each other by our real names, until we were caught by a teacher and scolded never to do that again.

Instead of throwing it away like I was told to, I kept it.

I knew that he would trust me even if he hated me, at least for a little while.

And if he needed to get the photo back, he would have to come to meet me. If I was correct, there was a high possibility of him trying to find Kira in his own way. That would mean that we could try to share information at that time, which would be benefiting both me and him at the same time.

I decided to write a letter to Mello, more like a simple note on the back of his photo.

I wrote until the words, "Dear Mello," and stopped there.

The more I thought about it, the less appealing the idea of a message on his photo became. He probably wouldn't want that, and it wouldn't be of any benefit to me either, so I stopped. It was a waste of time, if I had any words to speak to him I would say it right there anyways.

And with only that picture, I left the Wammy house, once and for all.

* * *

**Authors Note :** Sorry for the very short chapter X0

It'll be longer next time.

Reviews are very welcome!


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